10 Ways To Determine If You Are a Member of the “Working Dead”

Becoming a member of the working dead is not difficult. I define the working dead as a person who has let work take over their life and complaining about it has become more natural than breathing.

Here are ten ways to determine if you are a member of the working dead and ten remedies to take back your life.

1. If you find random reasons to hate your boss that have nothing to do with her/his work performance. (“Oooo I don’t like those socks he’s wearing! “)

Remedy: Stop talking with bitter co-workers about the boss. They suck you into their hatred. If the boss is really a jerk, have a real deal conversation with them about it. Stop complaining without action.

2. If you check the clock more than 5 times per minute and get frustrated at “the day” for not moving faster. Silly rabbit

Remedy: Create a side hustle or business that you can work on after completing your core responsibilities.

3. If you have a strong desire to vomit every time you walk into the office.

Remedy: Get a vomit bag because this feeling is going nowhere. This is the best sign that you need to leave ASAP. Stack up your savings for a month of non-working/job searching and turn in your resignation.

4. When you fantasize constantly about a natural disaster destroying your office…and select people within it.

Remedy: Get professional help today. These are really dark thoughts and I’m worried for you. Don’t be a “Milton .”

5. If you do the minimum requirements for your job description and spend the rest of the week watching idiots on YouTube… http://youtu.be/cIwTYL1fwJk. This will not improve your life

Remedy: Watch entertaining personal development/inspirational/life enhancing videos on YouTube and then put those lessons to work… http://youtu.be/EhqZ0RU95d4 you will find ways to improve your life doing this.

6. If you need coffee just to get through the first hour of the day…everyday…

Remedy: Find more interesting/risky/rewarding responsibilities at work. Create them if you can’t find them.

7. When you’ve had promiscuous encounters with more than one co-worker to make the workplace more exciting. (Fool me once…)

Remedy: Everybody slips up sometimes, but don’t become that guy/girl who is the creeper who hits on everybody and gets you to drink too much at the corporate party. You can find romance anywhere else. Stay away from the co-workers

8. If your internet freedom gets restricted due to getting too much spyware from surfing “questionable” websites deemed NSFW (not safe for the workplace).

Remedy: Negotiate a remote working environment where you can take care of your core responsibilities and spend the rest of your time doing your own thing. You probably aren’t the type of person who enjoys existing 40-hours per week in a gray box typing on an old ass PC.

9. When you find yourself in a complain-fest with co-workers more than once per week.

Remedy: Whenever you see the complain-fest pre-game warm up happening… it’s time to kindly remove yourself from the conversation.

10. If you’re afraid to quit your job because you secretly like being miserable as an excuse to not be interesting.

Remedy: There will never be a perfect time to quit and start a new life. I recommend saving what you can to take care of the essentials for you and your family for a month or two and leave. If needed sell some of the crap you bought because you don’t need that either.

I hope that these 10 signs have opened your eyes to what the working dead looks like. If you find yourself in two or more categories, it’s time to start looking for a way out. Nobody should ever force themselves into misery for money. There are so many ways to get paid and the economy should not be an excuse. People were blaming the economy for inaction during boom times. You alone cannot control the economy, but you can control your future. Make the right choice and escape the working dead. You owe it to your friends, family and most importantly…yourself.

-Aaron

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